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Nickel
  • From:USA

Date Posted:06-12-2018 11:27:26Copy HTML

There’s been a few dementia and Alzheimer’s cases in the family, no one blood related, yet.

Fifteen years for my brother’s mother; we share a father.  He was wonderful, completely accommodated her needs, and totally convinced me to tell each of my children to put me away somewhere.  I have a living will which only helps if I am attached to machines, but it also designates finance decisions to one son and health decisions to another, activates their powers of attorney if I am unable to make those decisions.  It’s not easy to get your wishes, “But Mom, there’ll be times when you’ll remember.”  Not a problem, I’ll remember I told you to put me away.  I  remember his mother and him devoting his life to her was absolutely not what she would have wanted.....no children  because he had her....no way!


As I’ve gotten older forgetting has been relaxing.  Distance from family is a great stress reducer......the expectations are nearly nothing.  Mornings are free to do as I please and so is the rest of the day.  It’s not that I don’t enjoy people, I find them refreshing, interesting, and fun, and then I go home to savor them.  I grew up in a city where total strangers can tell you things as young as you are.......because they will never see you again.  Read that in a magazine ......solved a mystery for me.....was it my face, something I said, something I did?


Recently, at a crowded airport restaurant I met two couples on their way to Vegas.  They asked if they could sit at the table beside me and I said, “Sure, it’s not as if I OWN it.” They all laughed, sat down, and asked some typical questions to which I oddly had humorous answers and they had fun replies and by the time their food arrived, I had finished mine and stood up to wish them luck in Vegas.  At that moment, I realized, “Geez, I’ve pretty much told you my whole life’s story, and you’ve LAUGHED all the way through it.  They wanted me to go to Vegas with them......LOL 


I have always been at ease with strangers, but it was the first time I had reviewed my life with such humor.  They were really good for me just before the last flight of an exhausting trip.


Making memories everyday, hoping for the good ones to stay.

A young waitress once said to a group of us at the table that she hoped when she got old she got Alzheimer’s because she had worked with patients that had it and they were the happiest, most carefree people she’d ever seen.  Be careful what you wish for is what I thought, but maybe she had a point, from the perspective of an 8 or 10 hour shift.  There’s no break for the family caring for someone who can’t take care of themselves.  If it’s just one person, they basically give up their own lives.


I’m against it even though my brother is pleased with himself, and I admire him greatly for the innovative and understanding way he prolonged the inevitable.  People with children have the hardest time understanding dementia, he says, because they expect them like they do their children to get better.

What goes around, comes around.
govols Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #1
  • From:USA

Re:Memory loss may not be all bad......working with the universe

Date Posted:07-12-2018 12:07:39Copy HTML

Memory loss is a blessing most of us don't deserve. 


I have very little experience with this kind of thing, but I've never really heard of very many people suffering the loss of all of their good memories. I'm sure I'm wrong, but it seems like most stories I've heard are about kinfolk lost in happier times rather than bad ones. Doesn't make taking care of them any easier, I guess. 


I hope to pass easily with most of me still in the room............

dunjuz_not Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #2
  • From:USA

Re:Memory loss may not be all bad......working with the universe

Date Posted:07-12-2018 10:16:47Copy HTML

Forgetting everything makes being here a total loss. Like a guy doing life in prison wondering what tomorrow will bring, and then getting all excited about the prospects.

We're all prisoners of conscious.~
nateonthenet Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #3
  • From:USA

Re:Memory loss may not be all bad......working with the universe

Date Posted:07-12-2018 02:17:01Copy HTML

Forgetting everything makes being here a total loss. Like a guy doing life in prison wondering what tomorrow will bring, and then getting all excited about the prospects.


Hah!  my day to quote Irish Poets



DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT

Dylan Thomas — Dylan Thomas Page

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rage at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Nickel Share to: Facebook Twitter MSN linkedin google yahoo #4
  • From:USA

Re:Memory loss may not be all bad......working with the universe

Date Posted:07-12-2018 06:13:17Copy HTML

“Excited about the prospects” works for me....grow wherever your planted! When I was young that poem was how I felt, but I have become more inclined to let people go in their own way and time because at her kitchen table, my husband’s 93 year old grandmother said as she sat down that 90 was too long for anyone to live. She was 19 days shy of 100 when Catholic that she was, God let her. I didn’t die at 35 which was the perfect age I thought to die before getting old. Old was full of darkness and despair and yearning for youth which is wasted on the young....all that whining, complaining of people older than me created such a wish As it turned out, 35 was Great! and I was hoping all year that God had not been listening.
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